This family conflict is classic: one side preaches “it takes a village,” but I must clarify I am not their village. My retirement meant cruises, hobbies, and sleeping in—not school runs and endless babysitting. I am happily retired, not an on-demand, free nanny for my family.
The issues began when my DIL, who is pregnant, asked me to babysit her son from her first marriage. I readily agreed, happy to help and spend time with my grandson, whom I truly love.
The dynamic instantly shifted the moment I planned a well-deserved personal trip. She immediately snapped, delivering a harsh, manipulative judgment. She declared that only a selfish woman would choose her pleasure over a future mommy’s needs.
I kept my composure and managed to smile, yet she truly lost it when I made a simple suggestion. I asked for money to become a paid babysitter, a completely fair request given the new constant demands on my time.
Now, my DIL is refusing to speak to me, and my son is awkwardly trying to “stay out of it.” I am painted as the family villain simply for daring to have a life and for not volunteering as free childcare on demand.
I love my grandson, but clear boundaries must be set. I am absolutely not a full-time nanny. Is it unreasonable to expect respect and consideration, or must I stop helping until they treat me like a person and not an entitled, unpaid employee?
