I am Anna (33F), and I really need some perspective on this nightmare family trip. My mother-in-law (MIL) constantly criticizes my parenting, interferes in every decision, and refuses to respect the boundaries. She says things like, “You’re a failed mother,” and she is constantly sticking her nose into every little family thing. I usually try to ignore the criticism, but it is exhausting.
Recently, my husband insisted that she join us on a family trip. I was not thrilled, but I went along. What happened next left me shocked. On the second day, my 4-year-old suddenly started vomiting. Naturally, I freaked out.
Then, the MIL did the most shocking thing. She smiled and said, “It is because I gave him a lesson in manners. He was speaking disrespectfully to me, and I raised my voice—probably too much. He was too shocked. The poor thing must have had a nervous breakdown because his mommy has not taught him proper manners in the proper ways!”
So, basically, she decided to try her “parenting methods” on my child, who is not used to the yelling at all. My kid literally had a nervous breakdown because of her. I do not know what I can do. I cannot just ignore this, but my husband wants to keep the peace with his mother. I feel like I cannot trust her around my kids anymore, but I also feel trapped because he keeps saying she is family, and we have to include her. Has anyone else dealt with a mother-in-law who actively undermines your parenting to this level? How do you set the boundaries without causing a massive family fight?
