When my baby was born, my mother-in-law—who lives across the country—asked for access to our baby monitor. She said it would help her feel closer to her grandchild, since she couldn’t visit often. It sounded sweet, and my husband thought it would be a nice gesture. So I agreed.
We use a smart monitor that streams video from the nursery. I assumed she’d peek in occasionally to watch the baby sleep or coo. What I didn’t expect was the constant surveillance.
She started commenting on things she had no business seeing—like the robe I wore while breastfeeding. One day, she texted my husband: “Tell her I’ll send a nicer robe. That red one’s looking a little raggedy.” I was stunned. That moment was private. I felt exposed.
Then came the passive-aggressive parenting critiques. If the baby cried for more than a minute, she’d text: “Poor little guy. Someone must be tired today 😬” or “I would’ve picked him up sooner, but you’re the mama!” It wasn’t just annoying—it was invasive.
I realized she wasn’t watching the baby. She was watching me.
So I quietly revoked her access. No announcement. Just a boundary.
She noticed. My husband got upset, saying I “made it a thing.” But to me, the real issue was clear: this wasn’t about bonding. It was about control. About inserting herself into our parenting from thousands of miles away.
I didn’t overreact. I reclaimed my privacy.
