It’s not about jealousy. It’s not about sabotage. It’s not even about the book itself. It’s about the quiet, complicated truth that friendship and support don’t always look like a purchase.
When a friend writes a book, there’s an unspoken expectation: you’ll buy it, read it, praise it, maybe even post about it. But what if you don’t? What if you can’t? What if you simply… won’t?
Maybe the genre doesn’t speak to you. Maybe you’re drowning in unread books already. Maybe you’re broke. Or maybe you’re afraid—afraid that reading it will change how you see your friend, afraid that you won’t like it and won’t know how to lie convincingly.
Writers often imagine their social circles as built-in fan clubs. But the truth is, even the most loyal friends may not be ideal readers. Some don’t read at all. Others read voraciously but only within narrow lanes. And some are just overwhelmed by life, by work, by their own creative pursuits.
Refusing to buy a friend’s book isn’t a betrayal. It’s a boundary. It’s an honest acknowledgment that support can take many forms: sharing a post, recommending it to someone who might love it, offering encouragement during the writing process. These gestures matter. They’re real.
And for the writer? It’s a lesson in resilience. Not every friend will be a fan. Not every fan will be a friend. The work must stand on its own, beyond the circle of familiarity.
So yes, my friend wrote a book. And I refuse to buy it. But I still believe in them. I still cheer for their success. I just do it in my own way.
