I started noticing something odd with my girlfriend’s mechanic friend. Every time her car had an issue, he was there—fixing it for free, no questions asked. At first, I thought it was harmless generosity, but soon he was driving her everywhere, running errands with her, and acting like he had some claim. He wasn’t her boyfriend, but the way he hovered made me uneasy.
I finally decided to clear the air. One evening, I invited him to dinner with us. After we ate, I asked, “So, you really don’t charge for all the work you do?” He just smiled and said, “I like helping.”
I turned to my girlfriend: “Do you ever feel like this makes you dependent? Like you owe him for everything he does?” She froze, then slowly admitted she hadn’t thought of it that way before.
I explained that while kindness is great, boundaries are important—because help can start to feel like obligation. The room went quiet. He looked embarrassed, and my girlfriend squeezed my hand, grateful I’d voiced what she hadn’t been able to. We’re still friends with him, but the dynamic has changed. Free repairs are nice—but respect and balance in relationships matter far more.
