So, my fiancé (28M) and I (27F) have been together for three years and recently got engaged. His parents have always been… difficult with me. They’re polite in public, but behind closed doors they make constant little digs — comments about my family not being “traditional enough,” hints that I don’t know how to run a household, and suggestions that I should be “grateful” their son chose me.
Last weekend, we drove to his parents’ house for dinner. I was nervous but tried to play nice. Right when we arrived, his mom started in: asking why I wasn’t wearing the engagement ring (it’s at the jeweler’s being resized). I explained, but she smirked and said that “a real bride-to-be would want to show it off” because “appearances matter in marriage.” His dad then chimed in about how “women these days don’t know how to respect a husband.”
I felt stung but tried to redirect. Then at dinner, things escalated. His mom brought up wedding planning and kept suggesting expensive, traditional customs from their culture that she wanted. I politely said we were planning something more simple to save money. She rolled her eyes and muttered that I was being “cheap.”
Finally, when his mom made yet another comment about me “not knowing my place,” I snapped. I said something like: “With respect, I don’t think my place is to be insulted every time I walk into this house. I’m marrying your son, not auditioning to meet your approval.”
The room went silent. His dad stood up, pointed toward the door, and told me if I couldn’t show “proper respect,” then I wasn’t welcome under his roof. My fiancé hesitated but ended up leaving with me.
Now his entire family is saying I ruined the night by being “disrespectful.” My fiancé says he understands my frustration but thinks I “went too far” confronting them instead of ignoring it. A few friends think I should have held my tongue until after we left, others say it’s about time I stood up to them.
I honestly didn’t mean to cause a huge scene, but how long can someone sit silently when they’re being insulted in their partner’s own home? Now I’m questioning if I really crossed a line by defending myself in a blunt way.
