I’m a surgeon. My ex-husband cheated on me with a nurse at his hospital—let’s call her Rhona. He left me while I was recovering from a miscarriage, saying he “needed space.” A week later, I found out he was sleeping with Rhona. That was three years ago.
I filed for divorce immediately. It was brutal. I went no-contact, blocked him everywhere. He tried reaching out, but I refused to engage. I knew any apology would be hollow. I still miss him sometimes, but I know what he did was unforgivable.
Fast forward to now: Rhona was diagnosed with a rare condition requiring surgery. Coincidentally, I’m one of the few specialists qualified to perform it. Her hospital referred her to me.
When I saw her name on the intake list, I froze. She came in with my ex. I kept it professional, but inside, I was spiraling. After the consult, I told my team I couldn’t do it. I recused myself and referred her to another surgeon.
Rhona later messaged me, furious. She said I was bitter and vindictive, that I was punishing her for my failed marriage. She claimed my refusal made her feel unsafe and humiliated. My ex emailed me too, saying I was being petty and unprofessional.
But here’s the thing: I didn’t sabotage her care. I ensured she had a qualified surgeon. I just couldn’t be the one to hold the scalpel. Not after everything.
I’ve spent years rebuilding myself. I’m finally in a good place. Operating on the woman who helped destroy my marriage felt like reopening a wound I’ve worked so hard to close.
So, AITAH for refusing to operate on my ex’s wife?
