Lately, I’ve been on a bit of a Morrissey kick. I know—he’s famously miserable, a lyrical curmudgeon—but something about his bleak portrayals of British seaside towns got under my skin. It made me wonder: are UK coastal towns really that grim? Because here in the US, oceanside real estate is gold. From Florida’s sun-drenched beaches to Maine’s rugged coastlines, property near the water is a premium dream. So why does Morrissey paint such a dismal picture? I’ve been to the coast of Sweden, and even without tropical heat, it was lovely. Surely the UK’s shores have more to offer.
I started digging into it, and the answer is more nuanced than I expected. Turns out, UK coastal property values have surged in recent years—especially post-pandemic, when people fled cities for fresh air and sea views. According to Savills, coastal homes rose 25% in value between 2020 and 2022, though they’ve dipped slightly since. Still, places like Sandbanks in Dorset remain wildly expensive, with average prices nearing £1 million. So yes, seaside living is coveted—but not everywhere. Some towns, especially in the North, still struggle economically, and that’s where Morrissey’s gloom finds fertile ground.
His lyrics often focus on faded resort towns—places that once thrived but now feel forgotten. Think boarded-up arcades, empty piers, and rain-soaked promenades. It’s not the whole picture, but it’s a real one. While the South West boasts luxury enclaves, other regions face high unemployment and aging infrastructure. The contrast is stark. It’s like two Britains: one sipping wine in coastal cottages, the other nursing pints in shuttered pubs. Morrissey’s genius, if you can call it that, lies in capturing the melancholy of the latter. And once you see it, it’s hard to unsee.
But I also think there’s beauty in those places. The kind that doesn’t rely on sunshine or wealth. The kind found in wind-whipped cliffs, quiet beaches, and the resilience of communities that keep going despite the odds. Sweden’s coast reminded me of that—cool air, soft light, and a sense of peace. The UK has that too, if you look past the peeling paint. Maybe Morrissey’s lens is too narrow. Or maybe he’s just drawn to the poetry of decay. Either way, it’s made me curious to explore more of Britain’s shoreline myself.
I’ve started bookmarking towns—some posh, some forgotten. I want to see the contrast firsthand. To walk the same streets Morrissey mourns and decide for myself. Maybe I’ll find sadness. Maybe I’ll find charm. Maybe I’ll find both. That’s the thing about coastal towns: they hold stories. Some are glamorous, some are gritty, but all are shaped by the sea. And whether you’re in Florida, Sweden, or Blackpool, that pull toward the water never really changes. It’s universal, even if the real estate market doesn’t reflect it equally.
So here I am, a Morrissey fan with a Zillow tab open and a growing fascination with British seaside towns. His songs may be bleak, but they’ve sparked something in me—a desire to see beyond the gloom and find the quiet magic that lingers in salt air and sea spray. Because sometimes, even a miserable wanker can lead you somewhere beautiful.
