My (33 F) fiancé (33 M) have been together for 7 years and are set to get married in 2026, however, I’m starting to have serious doubts because I feel like issues are coming back up that I thought were already resolved.
We share our locations and sometimes, my location doesn’t update on his end (and vice versa) and it looks like it’s “off”. He’s responded to this happening very unfavorably in the past and would jump to conclusions and think I’m out doing something malicious.
We’ve talked at length about this and I’ve communicated how his reaction when that happens is not acceptable and he needs to assume best intent. Things in this area have been good, or so I thought.
After work today, I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few snacks. I was planning on just running in and out because I wanted to get home, so I kept my phone in my purse instead of directly in my hand. As I’m going through the aisles, I hear a voice say, “Hey”, and to my surprise, it’s my fiancée. I was completely taken aback because I just was not expecting to see him but I was happy to see him nonetheless.
I quickly realized that this was not a random meeting. I could tell he was upset and he asked me why I wasn’t answering his calls. I had no idea he had been calling as my phone was in my purse and I must have not heard it ring in the busy store. When I took out my phone to show him that it was in my bag and that was the reason I missed his calls, I saw that he had called AND FaceTimed me 10 TIMES.
He said that my location was “off”, which I quickly showed him on my phone that it wasn’t (also, that made no sense because how else would he have known that I was at the store?).
He proceeded to silently follow me around the store as I finished getting my groceries and check out. We awkwardly left separately in our two cars. He sees absolutely nothing wrong with what he did and feels it was justified because he thought something was going on due to the location being “off” and me missing his calls.
I’m furious and feel like he had no right to act this way. It’s completely unhealthy, controlling, and I don’t deserve it.
Has anyone experienced behavior like this with a partner? Was it something you were able to work through, if so? If not, how did you gain the courage to move on?
